Loosing control....

I've been writing this post the past few days, making edits, adding, deleting, changing etc etc. and now I have finally decided to post it

Recently, what with all the events, services and so on to prepare for in the church, I've been noticing more of how I just don't seem to want to give up jobs to other people. I've often felt a little annoyed (not just in work related things) when I feel like I'm left on my own to do things that could be done between a few people. However when it comes to sharing out the jobs and spreading the load a bit I often worry that something won't be done right or the way I'd like it done. Logically I know sharing the tasks will make my life easier as I'll not have as much to worry or stress about, but there's something in me that I'm slowly discovering about how I need to feel in control.

Last Saturday was the Christmas Babysitting day we hold for parents to leave their kids with us at church for some fun, games, crafts, food and a movie so they can do some Christmas shopping or just have some time to themselves. I had designed posters, publicised it round schools and the church, organised booking forms, planned the programme, went shopping for all the food, watched the video to be sure it suited all the ages we were looking after, made examples of the crafts, and so on so on. The day before I made a note of what all I had to get done before it started, getting the food bought was one of the most urgent things, and planned to get them all done after helping at the Mother's and Toddler's Party in the morning. I was starting to panic slightly during the party thinking about all that was still to be done, and then one of the volunteers for the babysitting day came in to help at the party and asked if she could do anything for Saturday. Initially I thought I would be fine and get it all done myself, but then remembered my panic and the feeling in my stomach a few seconds earlier then asked if she could sort out the food. I told her to buy cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, chicken nuggets, squash, crisps etc to feed 40-50, and as soon as I did I felt so much better, despite also thinking it might not be the right stuff.... silly really, i mean how wrong can you go with the list I gave her.

The following day I arrived at the church, still with lots of bits and pieces to sort out. The food had all been sitting waiting for me, ready to get it cooked and , well it wasn't what I would have bought exactly but it was perfect! And it was all plenty of food to feed everybody.

I'm slowly but surely learning to delegate and ask for help when I need it, instead of putting extra pressure on myself. It makes me think about Proverbs 3:5 -
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding"

So often I try to do things by myself and too often I turn to God for help last, again I'm slowly learning to ask for help and to trust in God for the strength, wisdom, courage, resources and so much more to get through whatever I'm faced with. After all "With God all things are possible."